"This is taking the 'udder' piss!"

My house in positioned overlooking a country road. On the other side of the road is a lake with swans who have little cute swan babies. This is surrounded by a farm and quite a large amount of fields. Now this all sounds very pleasant doesn't it? Nice and peaceful. You haven't met Daisy.

Who is Daisy I hear you ask. Well Daisy, my friends, is the cow who likes to keep us all awake at night. The cow that thinks it is amusing to start moo-ing at the top of her cow lungs at gone midnight for all those around her to hear.

Tonight was particularly annoying. There I am sitting in my room, minding my own business, just casually surfing the Internet when my Sister bursts in the room. "Please chuck a stone at her!" Now up until now, I hadn't heard Daisy at all. In fact I was completely oblivious to the moo-ing mayhem going on in the adjacent field. Not anymore.

See now I know she's there. Now my ears cannot help but hear the deep, distraught sound of Daisy across the road and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't just pick my house up and move it a few miles down the road. I can't pop over and just politely ask her to keep it down. And my room is at the front of the building, closest to the noise, so not only can I hear the demented sounds of delightful Daisy, it hits my room first, carrying the highest volume of any of the rooms in my house.

So that's it.

My bed times are no longer a time of peacefulness. There will be no sheep jumping over hedges in my dreams. Instead it will be cows. Hundreds of cows just like Daisy moo-ing uncontrollably in my head.

She is taking the 'udder' piss.

Sweet dreams.

"We'll aim for half 3 then we'll actually leave at 4!"

This is the plan for Saturday as I am  GOING ON  HOLIDAY!!

I am pretty excited right now, in fact that doesn't actually touch on how excited I am. Me and my Sister are venturing off together for a week to the land that is Bulgaria. Never been before so it should be an experience. All I can say is, 4*, on the beach front, all inclusive, gin included. How bad can it be?

I am a bit nervy about leaving my boyfriend though. He is going on holiday the day before I get back so we are not seeing each other for a few weeks :(

However I am looking forward to what I think is a well deserved break. This week I will have worked 53.5 hours so I am officially nackered! Bring on the gin, sun and poolside!!!

But anyway I should probably explain the relevance of the title. Our family are usually late... for everything. The only way we can get anywhere on time is to aim for a half an hour before we need to leave, which gives us a slight bracket of time to run over. And we definitely need it on Saturday. As well as go on holiday I am going on holiday, packing and going to see my Gran so my day needs to be carefully planned.

Fingers crossed!

"You must go to Olivers"

Today I picked my Grandad up and took him home after quite a long stay in hospital. He had been quite poorly so was in there to get back on his feet, which has certainly worked. He doesn't even need his stick to get about now, something that he likes to tell me pretty much every time I see him! I don't blame him for being proud.

But anyway, as we approached Grandad's flat in the complex where he lives, we were greeted by another resident. 84 years old and looking not a day over 70, she excitedly welcomed Grandad back. The conversation somehow then turned onto the subject of holidays and she told us how she would be jetting off to Tenerife in October to see her daughter.

Now in October, my parents will be celebrating their 25th year of marriage (I don't know how my Dad's jokes haven't bored Mum to tears by now!) so we are taking a holiday to mark the occasion, also to Tenerife.

As we were talking, the woman, whose name escapes me now so I will just call her Claudia, urged me to go to Olivers in Los Christianos whilst we were over there. "not the big awful looking one, but the small one" as she kindly put it. "Tell her I sent you."

Now, I don't really know why I am telling you this story but I find it incredibly inspiring to hear about elderly people jetsetting off on holidays and really making the most of life. I hope I am that way inclined in 70 years time!

But for now, I do know that I am going to Olivers in Tenerife in October, because Claudia told me to!

"What to do, what to do..."

A question I am currently asking myself.

I officially handed in my last piece of Uni work on Monday, which means my spirits are lifted and I am very much looking forward to the summer. Although I don't know what to do with myself!!

I have signed up to a temping agency to try and get some more stable work over the summer and get some more stuff on my CV but until the work comes along I have nothing to do! Not that I am complaining, I mean sitting watching TV or hanging out with your mates is not exactly hard work but I haven't had nothing to do in ages!

I also have a tendency to feel guilty if I sit doing nothing for a long period of time, even if there is nothing that particularly needs doing. I feel lazy! Which is why I am handing out leaflets at the train station tomorrow for the Download festival. £6.20 an hour to give out brochures, can't be bad!

I was hoping for some more office based work but I would be silly to turn it down, being as I am not busy :)

Any ideas for what else I can fill my summer with??

"It won't fit!"

My Sister redecorated her room this weekend and to be honest I am very jealous! Plain magnolia walls, or 'mangolia' as she calls it, and new wooden flooring. Doesn't sound too exciting when you say it like that but there is something about making a room look completely fresh and new that is so satisfying.

My jealousy has lead to me wanting to turn my room around too. A new bed has already been ordered and today I went shopping for new bedding and curtain, although very unsuccessfully I might add.

At the moment I have a desk and shelf unit attached to the wall but for a change I want to rip it down and buy a new nice posh desk. And I did just this last night. Unfortunately it never ended up coming home with me.

So me, Alex (boyfriend) and Lauren (sister) are in Ikea at the checkouts. We buy the desk and other bits and bobs picked up along the way, a toy rat for Alex's dog for example, and head for the God that is the hotdog stand. Sooooo tasty!!

The we head over to the pick up desk, where they would bring my desk out the warehouse. All is going well until we get the desk outside and realise that my new little polo does not have the space required for such a large flat pack item. Bummer.

However I wasn't defeated yet. Down goes the back seat and the pushing and heaving begins. Unfortunately, no luck.

So, we head back inside, where they are about to close. I ask if they can hold it until tomorrow when I can come back with a different car. Answer = no.

A refund it is then. So we travel all the way there, buy the thing, only to have it refunded back onto my card, to go back a different day with a different car. What a palava! And a wasted journey...

"You can't still be asleep, surely?"

This was a text I received from my sister this morning at approximately 10.50am.

Finishing my first year of Uni is a very exciting concept, I have just under 2 weeks left and I will be a free woman, well from school work anyway. At the moment my time is being spent at home completing my last few assignments which is great because I get plenty of time to dedicate to my work. Well that was the plan anyway.

But being at home and having no plans in the daytime completely screws up your sleeping patterns. I am currently literally obsessed with The Hills, a show that follows the lives of people in LA. It is completely Americanised, totally cheesy and yet unbelievably addictive. So addictive that last night I watched the whole of season 2 in a row online in bed. This meant I was still awake at half past 3 this morning. So you can't really blame me for not getting up until 11!

And guess what?? I still have three more seasons to watch!!! I see some very late nights in my future...

"It's a one way system so I will just go backwards down it"

Our family have quite a particular sense of humour. My Dad is one is one of those people in my life who never ceases to make me laugh. It can be his sarcasm, his 'Dad dancing' or him just being plain stupid, but something always cracks me up. I thought it would be selfish of me not to share this with you. Even if it just puts a smile on your face, at least I will have shared a fraction of the comedic effect it has on me.

Yesterday, me and the fam went shopping to buy me a new car. Unfortunately mine is literally falling apart and I have come to the conclusion that a car that you can only get in by opening the passenger side first and manually pulling up the driver's side lock from the inside and that is also two different shades of green and has rustic orange patches needs replacing.

So, we took a road trip out to Birmingham to check out all the garages. We soon came across a large showroom with lots of cars lined up on the outside of the building. As Dad pulled in, he tried to turn left but noticed that it was a one way system.

I think Dad thought he was cheating the system when he swung the car right and decided to reverse down the one way road. When I asked him what he was doing his reply was, "It's a one way system so I will go backwards down it." It was at this point that the car erupted with laughter.

However this was amplified when we looked left and saw the showroom had completely clear glass window running all the way down the side of the building. Therefore, everyone in the showroom could see our car reversing down the one way road!

Maybe it was one of those 'you had to be there' moments, but I was there and it was absolutely hilarious! Apologies if my story was a bit of anti-climax for you but if something makes me laugh, I like to share it with people.

So there you have it, a story shared.